If someone described you as a negotiation expert, you would probably take it as a compliment. After all, experts are people we admire. They write books, deliver keynote speeches, teach at prestigious universities and advise organisations around the world. Becoming an expert sounds like the ultimate goal.

Yet I have found myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the way the word is used.

Experts Are Different To Us

Over the years, I have watched countless experts explain negotiation. They confidently present techniques, models and theories, often backed by years of research and experience. There is enormous value in what they teach, and I have learned a great deal from many of them myself.

The problem begins when we assume that learning from an expert somehow makes us one too.

That assumption, I believe, is holding back the development of negotiation skills across businesses, universities and among experienced professionals.

What an Expert Really Is

The word expert comes from the Latin expertus, meaning someone who has tried, tested and experienced something.

In that sense, experts deserve our respect. They have accumulated knowledge through years of experience, refined their thinking and found ways of explaining complex ideas so that others can understand them.

Many then write books. Others develop courses, training programmes or consultancy businesses. They package their knowledge so that the rest of us can benefit from it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

The difficulty comes when we mistake their knowledge for our own ability.

Reading a negotiation book does not make you a better negotiator in the same way that reading a book about swimming does not make you a swimmer. Attending a prestigious negotiation course may increase your understanding, but understanding is only one part of becoming skilful.

"Knowledge and skill are related,
but they are not the same thing"

The Expert Trap

I sometimes wonder whether we have fallen into what I call the "Expert Trap".

It is the belief that if we spend enough time around experts, some of their expertise will somehow transfer to us.

Imagine someone attends an internationally recognised negotiation programme. After several days of learning from respected academics and practitioners, they leave feeling inspired. Their notebook is full, their head is buzzing with new ideas and they have discovered concepts they had never considered before.

Have they learned something?

Without doubt.

Have they become a better negotiator?

Possibly.

Have they developed genuine negotiation skill?

That depends entirely on what happens next.

If those ideas remain inside a notebook, very little changes. If they are repeatedly tested, refined and practised, they gradually become part of the negotiator's natural behaviour.

That transformation cannot happen simply by listening.

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The Difference Between Knowing and Performing

Negotiation is a performance skill.

That means it only truly exists when you are sitting opposite another person, making decisions in real time, responding to pressure, listening carefully and adapting to changing circumstances.

An expert may be able to explain anchoring, framing, questioning or tactical empathy with absolute clarity.

A skilled negotiator can actually use those techniques naturally during a difficult conversation.

One understands the theory..... The other performs under pressure.

There is a significant difference between those two abilities, yet they are often treated as though they are identical.

"An expert can explain negotiation.
A skilled negotiator can perform it."

Why Elite Performers Never Stop Practising

Think about professional footballers for a moment.

Nobody questions whether elite footballers are already experts. They have spent years developing their ability and have reached the highest levels of the game.

So what do they do on Monday morning?

They go back to training.

Not because they have forgotten how to play football, but because performance fades if it is not continually maintained.

Every touch of the ball, every passing drill and every tactical exercise helps preserve and improve their ability.

The moment they stop practising, they are effectively beginning retirement!

Negotiation works in much the same way.

The ability to negotiate confidently does not come from attending a course once every few years. It comes from regular opportunities to practise, receive feedback, reflect and try again.

Yet very few organisations create those opportunities.

Where Negotiation Training Often Falls Short

This is not a criticism of negotiation training.

Training is essential because it introduces new ideas, new techniques and different ways of thinking.

Without training, we would struggle to improve.

The problem is that many organisations stop there.

A team attends a negotiation course, everyone enjoys the experience, certificates are handed out and people return to work expecting better commercial outcomes.

Months later, very little has changed.

Not necessarily because the training was poor, but because nobody created an environment where those ideas could be practised often enough to become habits.

We would never expect someone to become an accomplished pianist after watching a weekend masterclass.

We would never expect a footballer to maintain their performance by attending one presentation every year.

We should stop expecting the same from negotiators.

Real Skill Is Built Through Practice

Real negotiation capability develops through repeated exposure to the moments that make negotiation difficult.

• It develops when you practise asking a challenging question without sounding aggressive.
• It develops when you test how long you can remain silent after making a proposal.
• It develops when you practise listening instead of simply waiting for your turn to speak.
• It develops when you experience pressure, uncertainty, resistance and disagreement in a safe environment before facing them in a live commercial negotiation.

This is where practice becomes so important.

Practice allows negotiators to make mistakes without damaging a supplier relationship, losing a customer or weakening an important agreement.

It allows them to test techniques, receive feedback and repeat the exercise while the learning is still fresh.

"Knowledge tells you

...what you could do.

Practice develops

...your ability to do it!"

Why I Created The Negotiation Club

After attending numerous negotiation courses myself, I reached a point where I became frustrated.

Not because the courses lacked quality.... Quite the opposite in fact.

They were filled with brilliant ideas but the frustration came from having nowhere to practise them.

I wanted to experiment with different approaches. I wanted to discover which techniques suited my own style. I wanted to make mistakes without damaging important commercial relationships.

Most importantly, I wanted feedback.

That desire eventually became The Negotiation Club.

It was never created because I wanted to become known as a negotiation expert.

It was created because I wanted somewhere that people could continually develop their negotiation skills through regular, structured practice.

Over the years, I have watched people become calmer, more confident and more adaptable simply because they kept turning up and practising.

They did not improve because they had collected more certificates.

They improved because they repeatedly tested their skills.

Perhaps We Should Stop Chasing Expertise

Maybe we have been asking the wrong question all along.

Instead of asking, "How do I become a negotiation expert?", perhaps we should be asking, "How often do I practise negotiating?"

Real expertise is not something that sits on a bookshelf or hangs on a certificate.

• It lives in behaviour.
• It is maintained through repetition.
• It grows through reflection.
• It develops through experience.

Real expertise is not something you achieve once and keep forever. It is something you develop, refine and maintain through deliberate practice.

So no, I do not particularly want to become a negotiation expert.

I would rather keep working on becoming a better negotiator.

And tomorrow, I will practise again.

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