There are moments in life that force us to confront our own assumptions.

Recently, I had the honour of travelling to Ukraine to support a Financial Forum hosted by West Ukrainian National University. Although I have worked closely with the university since the second invasion in 2022, this was my very first visit to the country itself.

Like many people watching events unfold through news headlines, social media clips, and political commentary, I had unconsciously created my own internal picture of what I expected Ukraine to feel like.

• I expected a nation overwhelmed.
• I expected visible despair.
• I expected a population emotionally exhausted by war.

What I found instead was something very different.

What I Found In Ukraine

• I found strength.
• I found pride.
• I found unity.

And perhaps most importantly, I found a population that appeared stronger together.

Every morning at 09:00, the country pauses for a national minute of silence in remembrance and support of those fighting and those lost. What struck me most was not simply the silence itself, but the collective commitment behind it.

• People stopped eating.
• Pedestrians stopped walking.
• Cars and buses pulled over.
• Drivers stepped outside their vehicles and stood in solidarity.

It was one of the most powerful demonstrations of collective unity I have ever witnessed.

The Negotiation Danger of Projection

As negotiators, business professionals, leaders, and human beings, there is an incredibly important lesson hidden inside experiences like this.

Assumptions are dangerous.

Not because they are always malicious.

But because they are often invisible to us.

In negotiation training, I often discuss how people enter discussions already “conditioned” by previous experiences, headlines, opinions, organisational culture, or even stories they have heard from others.

Without realising it, we begin projecting expectations onto people before we have even spoken to them.

1. We assume motives.
2. We assume weakness.
3. We assume intent.
4. We assume capability.
5. And sometimes, we assume struggle where there is actually resilience.

This experience in Ukraine reminded me how easy it is to build an internal narrative without genuine evidence.

The reality on the ground was far more complex, human, emotional, intelligent, and inspiring than the simplistic image my mind had constructed beforehand.

That lesson directly applies to negotiation.

Three Critical Negotiation Lessons About Assumptions

1. Never Mistake Headlines for Reality

In negotiations, we often walk into discussions believing we already understand the other side.

• Perhaps we have heard market rumours.
• Perhaps we know their financial pressures.
• Perhaps somebody internally has labelled the supplier, customer, colleague, or stakeholder as “difficult”.

But headlines are not reality.

Second-hand information is not understanding.

And assumptions are not intelligence.

The best negotiators remain curious for longer.

• They observe.
• They question.
• They test their understanding carefully before drawing conclusions.

In Ukraine, I realised how much of my own perception had been shaped remotely rather than personally experienced.

Negotiators must be extremely careful not to negotiate against a fictional version of the other party that exists only in their own minds.

2. Projection Creates Negotiation Blindness

One of the greatest dangers in negotiation is projection.

Projection happens when we assume the other side sees the situation the same way we do.

• We project our fears.
• We project our priorities.
• We project our emotional reactions.

But the other side may have completely different motivations, pressures, values, or sources of strength.

The resilience I witnessed across Ukraine reminded me that external appearances rarely tell the full story.

In negotiation, projection can cause enormous strategic mistakes because it prevents genuine listening and observation.

This is why at The Negotiation Club we place such enormous emphasis on practising observation skills, questioning techniques, and active listening.

The moment we assume we already understand the other side is often the exact moment we stop truly seeing them.

3. Assumptions Reduce Human Connection

Negotiation is fundamentally a human activity.

Yet assumptions often dehumanise the people sitting opposite us.

• We categorise them.
• We simplify them.
• We reduce complex realities into labels & stereotypes.

One of the most powerful aspects of visiting Ukraine was experiencing the warmth, humour, professionalism, intelligence, and kindness of the people directly.

It reminded me that genuine understanding only develops through interaction, conversation, and shared experiences.

This is also why practice matters so much in negotiation development.

Books can teach theory.

Videos can explain tactics.

But only real interaction teaches us how quickly assumptions distort communication.

The more we practise negotiation with different personalities, cultures, communication styles, and pressures, the more aware we become of our own unconscious conditioning.

Why Supporting Ukraine Matters to The Negotiation Club

Since 2022, The Negotiation Club has proudly continued supporting colleagues, students, and professionals connected with Ukraine.

What began through conversations and workshops developed into genuine friendships and ongoing collaboration, particularly with my now good friend Oksana Koval and the incredible team at West Ukrainian National University.

Over the last several years, we have continued delivering negotiation workshops, discussions, and practical activities despite extraordinary circumstances.

This matters deeply to me because negotiation is not simply a commercial skill.

Negotiation is communication.

Negotiation is problem solving.

Negotiation is human connection under pressure.

And in difficult times, those skills become even more important.

During the recent workshop at the university, we used the Ukrainian Negotiation Cards alongside modern technology and practical exercises to create a highly interactive session focused on communication, observation, and decision making.

Despite everything the country continues to endure, the atmosphere was optimistic, engaging, intelligent, and forward-looking.

That in itself was incredibly inspiring.

My Parting Thoughts Having Now Been To Ukraine

Travelling to Ukraine reminded me of something negotiators desperately need to remember:

Our assumptions are often reflections of ourselves rather than reflections of reality.

• The danger is not simply that assumptions may be wrong.
• The danger is that we often fail to realise we are making them at all.

The strongest negotiators are not the people who enter discussions believing they already know everything.

They are the people willing to observe carefully, listen deeply, remain adaptable, and challenge their own internal narratives.

Ukraine reminded me of that lesson powerfully.

And it is a lesson I will carry into every future negotiation.