How to improve negotiation skills faster
Most people trying to improve their negotiation skills focus on learning more tactics.
- Better questions
- Better anchors
- Better concessions
What often gets overlooked is this:
Your negotiation skills will improve faster when you practise observing and giving feedback than when you simply practise negotiating.
Join a FREE Negotiation Taster Session
Why Negotiation Skills Don’t Improve as Quickly as People Expect
Many professionals attend negotiation training, understand the concepts, and still feel stuck.
The reason is simple:
- Knowing a tactic is not the same as recognising it in real time.
- Understanding a technique is not the same as using it deliberately under pressure.
Negotiation is a behavioural skill, not a theoretical one. If you want to improve faster, you need:
- Short negotiations
- Clear behavioural focus
- Immediate, structured feedback
The Hidden Skill That Accelerates Negotiation Development: Observation
In practice, outcomes are not the point... Behaviour is.
When an observer is given a clear responsibility (watch for one specific behaviour), learning accelerates because people start to notice:
- Timing
- Tempo
- Reactions
- Micro-moments where the negotiation changes direction
Many negotiators believe they are “reading the room”. Far fewer can explain what they actually saw.
How to Practise Observation in Negotiation (Properly)
1) Agree the tactic before the negotiation
Before the negotiation starts, the negotiator states:
- What negotiation tactic or technique they are practising
- Where they think it might appear (e.g. after a proposal, after a question)
This gives the observer a clear lens. Without it, feedback becomes vague and unhelpful.
2) Run short negotiations (4–6 minutes)
Short negotiations expose habits quickly:
- Who fills silence too fast
- Who rushes decisions
- Who reacts emotionally to numbers
Long negotiations often hide these behaviours. If your goal is skill development, short is better.
3) Give feedback using evidence, not opinion
Effective feedback follows a simple structure:
- State the tactic you agreed to observe
- Reference a specific moment (what was said/done)
- Describe the impact (what happened next)
- Suggest what to keep or change next time
Example (behaviour-based):
“You paused after the proposal and didn’t rush your response. The other party continued talking and revealed more information.”
Why Silence and Pausing Are Hard (And Why They Work)
Two behaviours are deceptively difficult to use well:
- Silence
- Pause, consider, respond
Both slow the negotiation down in a useful way. Not to create awkwardness, but to create space for thinking.
A common mistake is “going quiet” without actually thinking. That is not a tactic ... it is just discomfort!
Use a Simple Level System to Track Progress
A practical way to normalise development is to score the behaviour, not the person:
- Level 1: You attempted the tactic (early stage)
- Level 2: You used it deliberately and in the right place
- Level 3: It clearly influenced the negotiation
This changes the reflection from “Was I good or bad?” to “What moves me up one level next time?”
Why Giving Feedback Improves Your Own Negotiation Skills
Observers often improve as quickly as negotiators because giving feedback forces you to:
- Articulate what effective behaviour looks like
- Notice timing and placement
- Separate intent from impact
If you cannot explain why something worked, you will struggle to repeat it reliably under pressure.
A Simple Practice You Can Start This Week
You do not need a full training course to begin improving. Use this repeatable drill:
- Pair up with a colleague
- Agree one tactic to practise
- Run a 5-minute negotiation
- Spend 5 minutes giving structured feedback
- Swap roles
Do this once a week...
Consistency matters more than the complexity!
Negotiation skill does not come from knowing more techniques. It comes from:
- Seeing behaviour clearly
- Slowing down decisions
- Practising feedback as deliberately as negotiation itself
If you want to improve your negotiation skills, stop asking:
“What tactic should I learn next?”
Start asking:
“What behaviour am I practising this week — and who is observing me?”
Want to Practise This Live?
If you want to improve faster, practise short negotiations with a clear observer role and immediate feedback.
Practice prompt: In your next negotiation, decide in advance what you are practising (e.g. silence after a question) and ask someone to observe only that behaviour.
Join a FREE Negotiation Taster Session
Join the Student Negotiation Club (£9.99 pm)
Author
