At The Negotiation Club, we held a session with participants joining from around the globe — including Mexico, Ukraine, Italy and the USA. Our focus was on practising the Either/Or tactic, but as is so often the case in negotiation practice, the biggest lessons didn’t come from the tactic itself.

During the session, I had the chance to negotiate with a long-time member from Italy. Over the years, I’ve watched his negotiation skills grow tremendously, and I firmly believe that this progress has come from one thing: practice. However, this time, what caught my attention wasn’t his strategy or movement — it was one single word he used during the negotiation:

“That will be impossible.”

......The moment I heard it, I felt a subtle but noticeable shift in my own thinking!

The Power of a Single Word

The word impossible carries incredible weight. It’s strong, definitive and very hard to argue with. It signals a complete boundary — a clear “no” — far beyond softer words like difficult or challenging.

In a negotiation, hearing the word impossible can have an almost anchoring effect on your mindset. You may begin to believe that certain outcomes are completely off the table, even if that isn’t truly the case.

And that’s exactly what happened to me.

When we revealed the Negotiation Cards after the session, it turned out there was far more movement available than I had realised. His position wasn’t nearly as fixed as I had assumed. My decisions had been shaped not by his actual limits, but by how he expressed them.

The Opportunity to Ask, Not Assume

In the real world, when you walk away from a negotiation, you rarely get to know what the other person was really thinking. That’s what makes practice so valuable.

In the safety of a practice environment, you can pause, rewind and ask questions about why certain words or tactics were used. So I asked him directly:

“Why did you use the word ‘impossible’?”

His answer was simple, and yet fascinating:

“I am Italian.”

At first, I laughed. But then it struck me.... there was so much meaning packed into that response.

Language and Culture in Negotiation

This wasn’t just about vocabulary; it was about cultural nuance.

For him, saying something was impossible was simply a natural expression of his position — a way of communicating firmness, not necessarily finality. For me, as a native English speaker, the word carried a heavier and more literal meaning.

This moment reminded me of a critical lesson:

"The words we choose in negotiation are powerful, but they are not always interpreted the way we intend."

Language isn’t just about definitions; it’s tied to our culture, upbringing and personal experiences. A word that feels neutral or standard to one person can feel absolute or aggressive to another.

Books and studies on cross-cultural negotiation can help us understand this in theory... and there are many excellent ones out there. But nothing compares to the first-hand experience of hearing it, feeling its impact and reflecting on how it shaped your behaviour.

Why Practice Beats Theory

Had this been a real-world negotiation, I might have walked away believing that certain outcomes were truly off the table, when in fact they weren’t. Worse still, I might never have known why.

But because this was a practice session, I could:

• Reflect on my own reactions to his choice of words.
• Ask questions about his intentions.
• Learn how cultural and linguistic differences can affect negotiation dynamics.

This is why I’m so passionate about creating opportunities for people to practice negotiation skills, not just study them. No amount of reading or theory can prepare you for the subtle, human elements of negotiation — the unspoken assumptions, the cultural nuances, and yes, even the power of a single word.

Make Impossible, Possible

The next time you hear a word like impossible, pause and consider:

• Are you reacting to the actual position, or to your interpretation of their language?
• Could there be cultural or linguistic factors shaping the way they communicate?

Negotiation is as much about understanding people as it is about solving problems. And the best way to build that understanding isn’t by reading about it — it’s by practising it, over and over again.

At The Negotiation Club, this is exactly what we do. Every session reveals new lessons, often in ways we could never have predicted. Because just like real-world negotiations, practice sessions never follow the exact path you expect — and that’s where the magic happens.

About the Author Philip Brown

Phil Brown is the founder of The Negotiation Club, a training organisation built on the belief that negotiation is a skill developed through practice, not theory. With 30 years of procurement and commercial experience, Phil now helps professionals worldwide build confidence and fluency through structured, repeatable negotiation practice. Experience Phils unique negotiation practice at a FREE NEGOTIATION TASTER ....

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