The Number 1 Reason For Modern Negotiation Failure
We live in an age where waiting feels like failure. From same-day deliveries to 10-second TikTok clips, we’ve wired ourselves for speed. But behind the dopamine hit of “now,” there’s a cultural shift that’s quietly eroding one of the most powerful tools we have in decision-making, learning and negotiation: patience.
At The Negotiation Club, we talk a lot about the importance of practicing negotiation ... not just reading about it. The same is true of patience. Are we’re truly becoming a "culture of impatience", what could the implications and how can we can fight back.
"The High Cost of Now: Why a Lack of Patience is Undermining Our Negotiation Culture"
Are We Really Becoming More Impatient?
Short Answer: YES .....But there’s more to the story.
Evidence of Impatience
- Technology ... has conditioned us to expect instant gratification. Want food? One tap. Need a service? Chatbots respond in seconds.
- Social Media ... creates feedback loops that reward speed and visibility rather than thought and value.
- Workplace Culture ... celebrates urgency - “move fast and break things” - often without considering what’s being broken.
You can see it in the way meetings are run. Decisions are made not because they’re ready, but because time’s up. Follow-ups become fire drills and long-term strategies get bulldozed by next quarter’s targets.
In negotiation.... this is especially dangerous.
Try our FREE NEGOTIATION TASTER to practice your skills!
Where This Cultural Shift Shows Up Most
1. Consumer Behaviour
Patience has no place in modern marketing. Companies race to deliver faster, not necessarily better:
- Customers now abandon websites if they don’t load in 3 seconds.
- Subscription models are dropped after one bad experience—there’s no tolerance for working through a problem.
- Convenience has become a higher-value proposition than durability or depth.
2. Workplace Culture
Being “busy” is the new badge of honour. But underneath it?
- A fear of falling behind.
- A pressure to perform quickly instead of thoroughly.
- A lack of psychological safety to say, “This needs more time.”
Short-termism wins. Teams are praised for sprinting through deadlines, rarely for stopping to consider a better route. Leaders confuse urgency with importance. It’s exhausting—and corrosive.
3. Negotiation Settings
Perhaps nowhere is this more evident—or more damaging—than in negotiations.
Here’s what happens when patience is absent:
- Premature Proposals: People make offers before understanding the other side’s needs.
- Rapid Concessions: Movement without a meaningful exchange—out of discomfort or desire to ‘just get it done.’
- Missed Value: In a rush to close, negotiators often leave options unexplored that could have created mutual value.
Impatience is not a strength in negotiation. It’s a LIABILITY!
At The Negotiation Club we train people to slow down, observe and respond ... not just react. That’s where power lies.
But Is This Really About Patience… or Something Else?
Here’s the twist: a lack of patience may actually be a symptom of deeper issues.
Anxiety & Insecurity
Impatience can reflect:
- A fear of missing out
- A need for immediate validation
- A discomfort with ambiguity
We rush not because we’re confident, but because we’re uncertain. And it’s easier to do something quickly—even if it’s the wrong thing—than to sit with the unknown.
Social Comparison
When we see others succeed faster, we feel the pressure to accelerate. That’s why many professionals rush decisions—not because it’s right, but because someone else seems to be getting ahead.
Reward Systems and Incentives
Our systems reward quick action:
- Bonus structures are tied to quarterly results.
- Managers are assessed on task completion, not team development.
- Online content success is measured by speed of traction—not longevity or depth.
Impatience is embedded in the metrics that drive our behaviour. We are trained to rush.
Try our FREE NEGOTIATION TASTER to practice your skills!
The Strategic Power of Patience
Patience isn’t passive.... It’s not about sitting back and doing nothing. In fact, it often requires more discipline than rushing. Especially in negotiation.
Here’s what patience gives you:
- Time to gather information — which increases your power.
- Space to observe the other side’s behaviour — which improves your judgment.
- The ability to control the pace — which allows you to influence how others respond.
When you’re patient, you’re not waiting—you’re positioning.
At The Negotiation Club, we encourage negotiators to practise patience actively. That might sound odd, but it’s vital. You need to:
- Resist the urge to fill silence.
- Sit with an unanswered question.
- Hold your proposal until the moment is right.
It’s a muscle—and if we don’t use it, we lose it.
So What Can We Do?
We can’t change the world overnight—but we can change how we respond to it.
Individually
- Build in Pauses: Whether it’s in meetings, conversations, or negotiation sessions—create room to think.
- Challenge Urgency: Ask yourself, “What happens if I wait?”
- Practise Discomfort: Negotiation is full of micro-moments where your patience is tested. Use them as practice opportunities.
Culturally
- Celebrate depth, not speed: Start recognising long-term thinking. Praise thoughtful work, not just fast work.
- Rethink how we teach: Learning takes time. Skills need repetition. We must move away from “crash courses” and lean into ongoing practice.
- Design incentives differently: Reward consistency, adaptability, and resilience—not just immediate outcomes.
Patience Isn’t Outdated—it’s ENDANGERED.
In a culture driven by immediacy, it’s tempting to see slowness as weakness. But in truth, patience is one of the most strategic advantages you can have—especially in negotiation, leadership and decision-making.
If we want better outcomes, deeper learning and more meaningful relationships, we need to re-learn how to wait well. At The Negotiation Club, that starts with practice—because patience, like negotiation, is a skill.
.... And every skill gets stronger when you use it.
Try our FREE NEGOTIATION TASTER to practice your skills!
