Using Emotional Intelligence in Negotiation
An AI practical discussion on emotional intelligence in negotiation, focusing on why awareness alone is insufficient and how skills only develop through deliberate practice.
What The AI Explored in This Episode on Emotional Intelligence
This AI discussion looks at emotional intelligence not as a personality trait, but as a set of observable behaviours in negotiation. We explored how emotions surface in real conversations, how they influence decisions on both sides, and why simply “being aware” of emotions rarely changes outcomes.
A recurring theme was the gap between understanding emotional intelligence conceptually and applying it under pressure.
Read more here
Why Emotional Intelligence Breaks Down in Real Negotiations
Emotional intelligence is often taught as reflection after the event. In practice, negotiations demand emotional regulation, recognition, and response in real time. When stakes rise, even experienced negotiators revert to habit.
Without practice:
-
Emotional signals are missed
-
Reactions become automatic rather than deliberate
-
Conversations escalate or stall unnecessarily
The discussion highlights that emotional intelligence only becomes useful when it is trained as a skill, not admired as a concept.
What Most Negotiators Miss
Many negotiators assume emotional intelligence is about being “nice” or empathetic. In reality, it is about recognising emotional shifts, choosing when to intervene, and managing your own responses deliberately.
These moments are often subtle:
-
A pause before answering
-
A change in tone
-
A defensive response to a reasonable question
They are easy to overlook unless you have practised noticing and responding to them.
Turning Insight into Practice
Emotional intelligence improves when it is practised in short, focused repetitions. This means creating situations where emotions are likely to surface and observing how they are handled, rather than avoiding them or analysing them afterwards.
Practice makes emotional responses slower, more considered, and more intentional.
What to Practise After Listening
In your next negotiation or role-play, choose one emotional signal to focus on, such as frustration, hesitation, or defensiveness. Your task is not to fix it, but to notice it and respond deliberately rather than instinctively.
Practise this repeatedly in short negotiations. Emotional intelligence develops through exposure, reflection, and repetition, not through theory alone.