Think Like a Negotiator: Conditioning Language to Shape Outcomes
A practical conversation with Luke Tomlinson on using conditioning language and framing to shape expectations, test assumptions, and guide negotiations more deliberately.
What We Explored in This Episode
In this episode of The Negotiation Club Podcast, Philip Brown (Founder of The Negotiation Club) is joined by Luke Tomlinson, a procurement professional with experience on both the sales and buying sides of commercial negotiations.
Luke’s dual perspective provides a grounded view of how negotiations are shaped long before proposals are made—often through small, easily overlooked moments in language, tone, and framing.
Conditioning Language as a Negotiation Micro-Moment
The discussion centres on conditioning language as a negotiation micro-moment: the subtle use of words, stories, and context to shape expectations from the outset.
Luke explains that conditioning language is not about manipulation or scripting, but about preparing the ground. When used well, it helps the other party understand how the negotiation is likely to unfold, what matters, and where value may sit—before any positions are taken.
Framing, Value, and Testing Assumptions
A key theme is the relationship between conditioning language and framing. Luke highlights how negotiations often stall because one party frames the situation as low value or unimportant.
By positively reframing the context—without exaggeration or pressure—negotiators can reposition a discussion as worthwhile and collaborative. This framing also allows assumptions to be tested rather than accepted, particularly the common belief that suppliers are always eager to sell or that all customers are treated equally.
The episode reinforces the importance of observing responses and adjusting language to better understand the other party’s true motivations.
Adapting Language to Different Styles
Luke also explores how conditioning language must be adapted to different personality styles. Drawing on DISC-style thinking, the conversation highlights that what resonates with one person may alienate another.
Effective conditioning requires:
- Observation of how the other party responds
- Active listening for what they value
- Flexibility to adjust language and framing in real time
Misalignment in style can derail negotiations just as quickly as poor preparation.
Turning Conditioning Language into Practice
This episode emphasises that conditioning language is a skill developed through practice, not theory.
To practise, focus on the first few minutes of your next negotiation and pay attention to:
- How you describe the situation
- What expectations your language sets
- How the other party reacts to that framing
A dedicated Negotiation Card on Conditioning Language has been created to help practitioners practise these micro-moments deliberately, with attention to framing, assumptions, and different personality styles.
Used consistently, this approach strengthens positioning, improves clarity, and reduces unnecessary friction in negotiations.