How to use "Eye Contact" effectively in negotiations

What is Eye Contact as a Negotiation Tactic?

Eye Contact in negotiation is the intentional use of gaze at key moments to signal confidence, attention, and credibility, while allowing you to observe the other party’s reaction when decisions are being made.

It is not about staring, dominance, or body-language theatrics. Used well, eye contact supports positioning, pacing, and observation.

Why Eye Contact matters in negotiation

Eye contact changes how your words land.

Used correctly, it helps you to:

• Hold position without over-explaining or weakening your message

• Slow the moment when offers, rejections, or decisions are introduced

• Strengthen silence, allowing the other party to fill the gap

• Observe reactions at the exact moment leverage shifts

• Signal confidence and presence without saying more words

Most negotiators lose power not because of what they say, but because they look away when it matters most.

When to use Eye Contact

Eye contact is most valuable at decision points, including:

• When making an offer 

  Deliver the offer while looking up, then stop talking.

• When receiving an offer 

  Hold eye contact while you pause and think, rather than reacting immediately.

• When rejecting 

  Especially with emotional rejections, steady eye contact supports a calm, firm boundary.

• When asking a direct question 

  Ask the question and hold eye contact until the answer comes.

• When summarising 

  Eye contact reinforces that you are engaged and accurately tracking their position.

Use with care when emotions are high or where cultural norms around eye contact differ. Intensity should always be adjusted, not abandoned.

How to use Eye Contact effectively

Core execution rules:

1. Look up for the key line 

   Use eye contact when you deliver the sentence that matters (offer, rejection, boundary, or direct question).

2. Hold briefly 

   One to two seconds is usually enough for impact.

3. Stop talking 

   Eye contact works best when paired with silence, not justification.

4. Observe 

   Watch for immediate reactions: facial changes, posture shifts, breathing, tone, or speed of response.

5. Break naturally 

   When the other party speaks at length, soften and break eye contact naturally to avoid staring.

Common mistakes to avoid:

• Looking away while saying the number or condition

• Smiling nervously after a rejection

• Filling silence because eye contact feels uncomfortable

• Using eye contact as a dominance play rather than a listening tool

How to practise Eye Contact (short drills)

Eye contact improves through repetition, not awareness.

Drill 1 – Offer and Stop (3 minutes) 

Make six short offers. Each time:

• Look up

• Deliver the offer

• Hold briefly

• Stop talking

Drill 2 – Calm Rejection (3 minutes) 

Reject six unreasonable offers using one sentence only, steady gaze, neutral tone.

Drill 3 – Observation Focus (5 minutes) 

Run a short role play. Observers only track:

• Eye contact at offers

• Eye contact at rejections

• Eye contact during summaries

Debrief on what reactions were actually observed.

Video call adaptation 

On Zoom or Teams, use the camera briefly when delivering key lines, then switch to screen view to observe reactions.

Observer feedback prompts

Observers should assess execution, not outcome.

• Did the negotiator maintain eye contact at key moments?

• Did they stop talking after the offer or rejection?

• Did eye contact support silence and observation?

• Did they adjust intensity appropriately?

• What immediate reaction did eye contact reveal?

Feedback should reference specific moments, not general impressions.

In practice

Eye contact is a small behaviour with a disproportionate impact.

When paired with silence and observation, it becomes a powerful way to hold position, read the room, and let the other party do the work.

"As with all negotiation tactics, its effectiveness comes from practice, not intention."

Club Members Giving Constructive  Feedback

At The Negotiation Club, the Observer plays a critical role in how negotiation skills are developed through practice.

During each practice negotiation, the Observer focuses on the execution of a specific tactic, not the outcome of the negotiation. Their role is to watch what actually happens in real time—how the tactic is attempted, how it is delivered, and how the other party responds.

Feedback is structured, immediate, and constructive. It is based on observable behaviour rather than opinion and is reviewed against three clear levels of ability:

• Awareness – the tactic is recognised and attempted
• Application – the tactic is used deliberately and appropriately
• Control – the tactic is used fluidly and adapted to the situation

This observer-led approach ensures feedback is practical, focused, and directly supports skill development through repetition and reflection