How Self-Assessment Improves Negotiation Skills.

The Psychological Difference Between Self-Evaluation and External Feedback

Why Self-Assessment Matters More Than External Feedback:

When we receive feedback from a third party, our brain processes it as an external perspective. While this can be helpful, it often triggers defensiveness, selective hearing, or reliance on others for improvement. In contrast, when we engage in self-assessment, we activate metacognition—our ability to reflect on our own thinking and performance. This creates:

Greater Ownership of Learning

When we self-assess, we internalise the feedback, making it more likely that we’ll act on it.

Long-Term Retention

Self-generated reflections are stored more effectively in memory than externally received comments.

Reduced Dependence on External Validation

Negotiators who build a strong self-assessment ability develop independent critical thinking and adaptability.

The Role of Self-Assessment in Skill Development

Research in sports psychology and skill acquisition shows that individuals who engage in structured self-evaluation improve their abilities more effectively than those who rely solely on external coaches. Grandmaster chess players, for example, journal their moves and reasoning before reviewing expert feedback. Similarly, elite athletes engage in post-performance self-analysis before their coaches intervene.

In negotiation practice, this means that rather than immediately looking to an observer or coach for input, practitioners should first evaluate their own performance, considering the specific technique they were focused on.

How to Prepare for Self-Assessment Before a Negotiation Practice

Self-evaluation begins before the negotiation, not just afterward. To enhance the effectiveness of self-reflection:

• Define the Focus: Before starting the practice session, each negotiator should identify the specific technique or tactic they are working on (e.g., silence, summarisation, or questioning techniques).
• Set an Intention: The facilitator should ask: “What do you want to achieve in this practice?” This helps participants frame their self-assessment with a clear objective in mind.
• Use a Mental or Physical Cue: Writing down or verbalising the focus tactic helps prime the brain to track effectiveness during the negotiation.

Conducting Self-Assessment After the Negotiation

Once the practice session ends, the first step is to reflect before receiving any external feedback. The structure of this reflection should be simple and guided by the facilitator.

Step 1: Prompting Effective Self-Assessment

Rather than asking “Assess your own performance,” which can feel too broad or intimidating, facilitators should frame it in a more engaging way, such as:

“If you had to describe your effectiveness to someone who wasn’t here, how would you explain it?”

“Imagine a teammate asking you for advice on how to use that technique. What would you tell them?”

“If you could redo that negotiation focusing on just one improvement, what would it be?”

“What part of the negotiation do you think was the strongest demonstration of your tactic?”

Step 2: Keeping It Specific and Contained

Early self-evaluation should focus only on the specific negotiation tactic and technique assigned rather than an overall judgment of the negotiation. Expanding to other aspects of the performance too soon can dilute the learning.

Example Process:

• Immediate Reflection: Take 30 seconds to think silently about the effectiveness of the specific technique.
  • (e.g. Open Questions, Mirror Words, Odd Numbers, etc, etc)
• Structured Response: Answer one of the facilitator's prompts aloud or write it down.
• Optional Observer Input: Only after the self-assessment is complete should external feedback be introduced.

Expanding Self-Assessment Over Time

Once negotiators become comfortable self-evaluating their specific assigned technique, they can gradually expand their reflection to include:

• Their overall control of the negotiation.
• Their adaptability and responsiveness.
• Their ability to manage emotions and pacing.

At this stage, self-assessment can evolve into a more holistic skill that benefits real-world negotiations, not just structured practice.

Research-Backed Variations to Improve Self-Reflection

1. Delayed Self-Assessment

Instead of reflecting immediately, have negotiators wait 10-15 minutes before assessing their performance. This creates emotional distance and allows for a more objective evaluation.

2. Enveloped Feedback Exercise

Observers write down their feedback but do not give it immediately. Instead, participants read the feedback after completing their own self-assessment, allowing them to compare their reflections with external perspectives.

3. Video or Audio Playback

If possible, recording a negotiation and having participants review it before external feedback can be incredibly powerful. People often notice things in their own performance that they were unaware of in the moment.

4. Three-Point Reflection

Encourage negotiators to use a structured reflection format:

• What went well?
• What could have been improved?
• What will I change next time?

This ensures that reflection leads to actionable insights rather than just abstract contemplation.

The ability to self-evaluate is a fundamental skill in developing negotiation mastery. By focusing first on a specific assigned negotiation tactics & techniques, negotiators can refine their self-awareness and build confidence in their ability to reflect effectively. Facilitators play a key role in shaping how self-assessment is introduced and can encourage deeper reflection through structured prompts and innovative feedback techniques.

As The Negotiation Club continues to emphasise practice-based learning, strengthening the Self-Assessment Muscle will empower members to become independent, adaptable, and highly skilled negotiators.

Club Members Feedback Assessment:

During the club meeting a formal "Feedback Assessment Script" helps identify within the zoom transcript the feedback.  We can then use this with our AI to summarise the feedback helping to keep a record of the club members progress.

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Script:

1. State your name.
2. State the name of the negotiator you were observing.
3. State the Technique being practiced and what you were specifically looking for.
4. Explain what you observed and your specific feedback.
5. Finally include a proposed "Level of Achievement" (Level 1, 2 or 3)

Each participant will be assessed on their ability to incorporate the designated tactic. Observers should use the following levels as a guideline: